Chronicles8

THE MOUNT PERRY CHRONICLES 8
STORIES ABOUT LIFE IN MOUNT PERRY FLORIDA

THERE IS A SAMPLE CHAPTER BELOW, PLEASE SCROLL DOWN AND ENJOY.

This is your
navigation bar, click
on any title to go
the page. The item
shown in RED is
where you are now

MOUNT PERRY CHRONICLES EIGHT IS PARTIALLY WRITTEN AND
STILL NEEDS TO BE PUBLISHED. HERE'S A SAMPLE CHAPTER.

DIESEL BEER ICE CREAM
Copyright ©2004 Robert P. Herbst. All rights reserved.

By

Robert P. Herbst

In the years since moving to Mount Perry, Florida, I have driven many hundreds of
miles both with my little family and alone. Now, as a well traveled person, I consider
myself reasonably familiar with the various snack foods available along the roadside.
Among these various culinary delights is the ever present Diesel Beer Ice Cream.
This particular flavor is emblazoned in foot high letters on the sides of the many fast
food stores and gas stations along the road side every where I went. The only
variation was the addition of the words Hand Dipped after Ice Cream. This had to
be something special in order to rate such a great amount of advertising, yet I’d
never tried it.
I made up my mind to try this culinary delight the very next time I saw the
advertisement on the side of a building. Being diabetic, this is not a decision I made
lightly. Ice Cream in any flavor is a big “No, No.” for diabetics, yet I just had to try
it.
It wasn’t long before I found Diesel Beer Ice Cream splashed in big red letters on
the side of one of my favorite gasoline stops on the way to Tallahassee. Painted in
big red letters on the side of the building was, “DIESEL BEER ICE CREAM”, a
picture of an ice cream cone and the words, “HAND DIPPED”.
It was time to try the stuff. Entering the store, everything looked quite normal. I
looked around for the Ice Cream case. The Ice Cream freezer was right next to the
check out counter. I searched each tub for the words DIESEL BEER but this
particular flavor was nowhere to be found. I found Cherry, Vanilla, Chocolate and a
variety of others but no Diesel Beer.
After a judicious search I asked the attendant where the Diesel Beer Ice Cream was?
He looked at me strangely and said, “Wh what?”
I repeated myself, “Where is the Diesel Beer Ice Cream?”
The man behind the counter looked at me with outright fear in his eyes. He
stammered on,”W We don’t have any Diesel Beer Ice Cream.”
No one was going to cheat me out of a taste of this new flavor. Leaning over the
counter toward him I said, “You advertise Hand Dipped Diesel Beer Ice Cream on
the outside of your building. I came all the way in here to try some. You advertize
this flavor, here’s my money, I WANT SOME!”
The man behind the counter looked extremely nervous as he said, “We have Diesel,
we have beer and we have Ice Cream. What is it you want?”
Leaning ever closer I repeated into his face, “That’s right, I want Diesel Beer Ice
Cream. You don’t have the flavor in the Ice Cream Case, BUT I WANT SOME.”
The man behind the counter seemed to be fidgeting with some sort of button under
the counter, but I was not to be put off. I repeated loudly, “You advertised Diesel
Beer Ice Cream and that’s what I want. I want a Hand Dipped Diesel Beer Ice
Cream Cone with two scoops.”
The man behind the counter now backed away from me and seemed to pale under
my relentless scrutiny. He stammered on, “But we don’t have any Diesel Beer Ice
Cream, anywhere in our store. There is no such flavor. Honest, we have nothing
even close to Diesel Beer Ice Cream, anywhere in the store.”
Drawing myself up into my most ferocious looking six feet three inches tall, I looked
down on him and said, “You Advertise Hand Dipped Diesel Beer Ice Cream. I
stopped my trip to Tallahassee to have a double scoop of the stuff and you don’t
have any? What would you do if I sued this place for false advertising?”
Just about this time two State Police cars rolled into the parking and armed
Policemen raced into the store with their guns drawn. The man behind the counter
was pointing at me and yelling about what a crazy man I was.
The four police men surrounded me and menaced me with their guns and. One of
them, looking at me with evil squinted eyes, spoke up, “Okay Mister, what’s going
on here?”
I told my story again, “I was on my way to Tallahassee and saw their sign
advertising Hand Dipped Diesel Beer Ice Cream Cones. I stopped and came in to
buy some.” Holding up the money in my hand I went on, “This man wouldn’t sell
me any.”
The four policemen looked at each other in wonderment. The man with the squinty
eyes turned to the man behind the counter and asked, “This man says he asked to
buy a Diesel Beer Ice Cream Cone and you wouldn’t sell him any. Is this true?”
The man behind the counter looked even more nervous as the armed policemen
now made him the center of their attention. He stammered, “But, but, we don’t
have any Diesel Beer Ice Cream.”
Now people from the surrounding area, seeing the police cars and the lights, began
to gather around the store. One of them asked me what was going on. I told him,
“The man behind the counter wouldn’t sell me a Hand Dipped Diesel Beer Ice
Cream Cone.” My words spread like wildfire through the gathering crowd.
One of the policemen now put his gun away and looking in my direction he said,
“You know, I’ve never tried this Diesel Beer Ice Cream either and I see it advertised
all over the place. This has been a trying day, it’s hot and I think I want a Diesel
Beer Ice Cream Cone also.” The other three policemen nodded in agreement and
stood side by side at the counter with me.
Now the man at the counter was truly nervous. He said quickly, “Look we have all
these other flavors, I’ll GIVE you whatever flavor Ice Cream Cones you want free
of charge.”
The policemen now looked at each other with questioning eyes. One of them said,
“This Diesel Beer Ice Cream must be some hot stuff if he’s not willing to sell us
any. I wonder who he’s saving it for?”
One by one the people in the gathering crowd moved forward and demanded Diesel
Beer Ice Cream also.
Time was dragging on and the time I had left to get to my appointment was
dwindling. I moved out of the little store as the demand for Diesel Beer Ice Cream
grew louder and louder. The loud voices were now punctuated by the sound of
breaking glass and screams of pain.
Someone ran out of the store grabbed a length of rope from his truck and raced
back inside. A woman came out grabbed a pillow and ran back into the store
screaming something about Diesel Beer Ice Cream. Another man ran out and
returned with a big bucket of tar.
If I’d waited any longer I would have been late for my appointment. I’ll try again on
my way home. I’m sure I’ll find another store advertising Diesel Beer Ice Cream on
the way back. One of these places is bound to have some.

My books are available from me at <herbst@fairpoint.net> price and shipping charges
on request. I can't make a set price as shipping cost and printing prices vary from
week to week.
Unless instructed otherwise this book will be sent out Via Priority Mail. There is no
return policy, all sales are final. No book will be shipped without cash in hand. You may
also find my books at:
http://www.createspace.com/Help/Order/Contact.jsp
http://www.amazon.com /
And many other major book sales companies.
Return to home page HOME

Here MOUNT PERRY Rises Majestically In Back Of
LAKE MOUNT PERRY.
This Picture Has Been Cheerfully Donated By The